so hunter is not the only one you have hurt Adrian

remember this?

ADRIAN CAN YOU HERE ME?

THIS IS NOT HUNTER.

"Saturday came and went and left the torture and agony of Sunday. Sunday, a cold and wet day alone in my bedroom upstairs with nothing but a window and an iPod for escape. Finally we headed home and I reached out to the one person I knew that would be able to make me actually feel like I was at home, although, we had never met. He was everything I wanted in a man. Everything I had felt unconciously when I layed in bed at night, and everything that couldn’t exist in the dark when I was scared, lost, or asleep. He told me I made him happy. He told me he hadn’t been as excited for a long time, and that made me warm inside." I AM SORRY HUNTER, I DON'T KNOW WHY HE DID THIS TO YOU. PLEASE DON'T HURT YOUR SELF.

HUNTER YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE SIGNS

YOU WERE CHEATED ON DURING BOTH OF THESE PARTIES.
you should have known he was gonna do this to you. If you read this. I am sorry.
hotdickdude69: Said somethign about his ex like gettin clingy or soemthing and like was n love or whatever

I know in your blogs you said adrian told you he loved you, but I am sorry to be honest and tell you it was all a lie. I am sorry everyone blames you.

cheating cheating and more cheating and lies.

When were you going to tell Hunter about all the times you slept around?
johnthomas ring a bell? you met him on http://www.barebackrt.com and you guys fucked right before school let you…it that not when hunter came to get you? Then there is randy and Chase Olin(barebacked with him) and then that time in buffalo with Steve Hayes andhe fucked you in his truck and you pissed on him in the shower. oh and that guy sean davis. A quote from steve hayes

“yes, u said you cheated on him a lot and he was too stupid to notice:)”

I will never understand why you did this to someone who loved you so much. And John even gave you a watch!!!, pictures of you and john, and steve cumming into each others asses…do you have any idea how dangerous and wrong that is to put Hunter at a risk like that. And you go around now telling people Hunter is the one harassing you…dude he hasn’t spoken to you and wants nothing to do with you. why cant you tell him the truth and say ur sorry…he loved you so much adrian. why are you doing this to him?

everyday is something new.

RIP.

Adrian, 8-31-09

You were the first guy to make me happy. You were everything I wanted in a guy and at one time proved to me love is something that does exist. I believed you when you told me you loved me, and I still to this day and when I am gone will always wonder why you could never tell me the truth. Why you could never be honest. I believe in my heart that you are so much better than you give yourself credit for. You are beautiful, talented, and overall the most amazing man I have ever met. I learned so much from you, but unfortunately I have learned to late and my heart and body can no longer handle not having you in my life. I never wanted to hurt you or make you unhappy, I moved to Dallas to start a new and have you next to me. I am sorry I stressed you out, and was over dramatic. I wanted to give you everything you ever wanted and I was coming out of my shell a month to late. Being in this apartment only haunts me. Waking up and not hearing your voice, opening my eyes, and not seeing your face. I wanted to make you feel safe, and loved but I failed. Failed to be the strong sexy guy you wanted. Every time you kissed me was a moment I cherished forever, and every time you told me you loved me was a gift from you, and something I believed from you up until you lied and lied and lied. I always asked why? You made me want to be a better man and then you left and it was as if the thought of you with someone else stabbed me. I know if you had ever given me a real chance I could have been the one you wanted. Something real, something worth trying for, and something to make you the happiest guy I know. I wish for you if you ever read this, to be confident and know you are better then sex and you need to open your heart and eyes to what I could have offered you. with you it was the first time in my life I laughed like I did before I moved to Dallas, and it felt amazing to have you be the one to make me laugh. You were the best thing that happened to me, and I will miss you, and I hope you will miss me to. Cause after you read this I will no longer be alive but I memory that I hope you learn from. Please forgive me for what I have done, and please know you were the last guy I ever loved. Even after I am gone, I will always remember you.

Love,

-Hunter-

I told you I would stay.

Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear from Gabe Askew on Vimeo.

Save up all the days
A routine malaise
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

Would you always
Maybe sometimes
Make it easy
Take your time

Think of all the ways
Momentary phase
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

Every time you try
Quarter half the mile
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

Would you always
Maybe sometimes
Make it easy
Take your time

I think we are done here.

As most know, I dated a guy named Nathan for about two years. We were engaged for a while, but in the end I kept fucking up and lost him. I thought money and being in the adult film industry was more important than being in love with him. I cheated several times during our relationship, and never respected him 100% I have learned a lot about myself since being with him, and when I try to distance myself and find a common ground with not having him in my life anymore he seems to pop up. I would find this nice if Nathan did not have such hateful and mean things to say about me. I understand you can never forget, but dude at least forgive. I may not be as happy as I wanna be right now, but it is you who truly deserves to be happy. I don't piss on your name, so please don't piss on mine. I am forever apologizing for the horrible nasty things I did to you. I am sorry you hold such negative energy towards me. Most of what you think is true, really isn't. But needless to say you have a right to think what you want. But I would think you know better. Get over yourself and go be a dick with your boyfriend who made you the boy (not man) you are today. You two were meant for each other.

REVEALINGblog

I am all for getting mad and cuttin bitches and taken names, but when you don't understand when someone is hurt because you either have no heart or you are dead, it makes it more difficult for a person to understand where you are coming from. In my break up with Zach I always have and mostly likely will continue to blame him for a lot of the pain in my life...well recent pain. But never when expressing my frustration and letting others know of my broken heart did I intentionally bash him or his name. I think it is hilarious and somewhat self-involved to think that it is all about you ALL the time. I am not gonna lie and say that I don't think about Zach on a daily basis, I do. But I am not going to keep my opinions and thoughts bottled up to fester and wallow inside, trust me I already have become numb enough. While I can move on and be somewhat okay, it never changes the fact that what was done was done, and what was said was said, and when lied to I was lied to. You can tell me to simply get over it, but that is what makes me human and some people cold hearted cock heads. When you get hurt physically and there is a scar...do you simply hope that the scar will disintegrate? No it won't it will always be there...mind, body and soul. The scar will always be present and be a constant reminder of what you lost or what was done.
The simple fact remains. I have not done anything to harm anyone. The reason I harp on it so much is to prove a point. People are ignorant. They believe lies and live in disbelief because to them it is so much easier to believe a lie, than to see the truth. This is taught during childhood. Believe what sounds like the better story, even if it hurts someone and cuts them down. Bull. shit. If anyone other than me took the time to scope out the truth and see the overall aspect of the situation it would be revealed that I have nothing to with this crazy, unsettling, lowlife, life ruining person who feels its better to read my blog, and take it and run with it. Using my words and taking them as his/her own. I feel in a way he/she is using my words to hide behind and using peoples ignorance to pass him or herself off as me. The only thing I know is God is someone who will deal with him or her accordingly. Point being that when someone stalks you and makes death threats on your life...I find it so much better to not point a finger. I have never once thought Zach was the one doing it because, yes I'm gonna say it, he is better than that. In the message below he obviously has better things to do with his time. I am sure ruining my life is not one of them. While I don't think he is the one stalking me, I do at times wish he did not do the things he did to me. The stalker claims he or she is someone who he had a run in with and it was not me. I am sure I am not the only person in Huntsville,Texas who has a problem with Zach. Even saying that I know I have no problems with him really. I just think closure is a gift everyone should be able to have. You're not promiscuous, just misunderstood, right? So before you take a gun and aim it at someone who you think deserves to be shot. How about you figure out where the gun you're holding came from, and if the person you're aiming at truly deserves to be shot.

"I'd prefer you took down number 14 on your little list of things. It's borderline slanderous, in terms of insinuating my promiscuity.

On that note, please delete the listed people from your friends list as you make them uncomfortable:
Fred Brandon Moore
Nick Gonzalez
Perla Dominguez
Cindy Botero
Dottie Lockett

Its really shitty. You have it in your head that i have tried to destroy you, but thank you for showing me my course in life. I will be leaving Huntsville soon enough.

I have never gone out of my way to make your life harder.

I don't care enough.

I never want to hear from you again, ever. EVER EVER EVER!!

I never truly loved you and will never ever love you like you think you deserve.




Delete who I told you too. Leave me and mine alone."-Zach-

New Place, moving, and falling deeper in love.

I am going to make a video when I get this place clean up and running smoothly. I am running around trying to get this apartment organized. While doing all of this Adrian is still back in Houston. I have been waiting and waiting for him to come back up to Denton and be with me. In that time I have realized that not having him around has made me want him more. I have been falling in love with him more and more everyday.
When Zach was gone, I made a promise to myself not to get involved with someone so soon. I half ass dated and didn't really want to find anyone. I found Adrian on a whim. I love having him in my life and I would not want it any other way. Sure we have hit some snags along the way, but that is what tests a relationship and makes it stronger. I love Denton, and can't wait to see what the rest of 2009 has in store for me. I am writing music and trying so hard to put together an album, and I am working with some really amazing people! So I hope you guys like my music when it comes out. I love and thank you guys for all the support you have given me and I hope to see you guys soon! :) -Hunter-

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