Wow, what an amazing night. Michael (my best friend) and I got the VIP treatment. I won tickets on 104.1 KRBE and we got the hook up. We had amazing seats to the show, and we even got to go backstage and meet THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS. I must say PCD is just as beautiful and amazing in person as they are in their videos and are a talented group. People will say a lot of shit about them, but I say they are truly gifted. Michael and I got to hug every single member, and Michael and I even got a kiss from Nicole (The lead singer). Melody (My favorite one) complimented me on my star tats behind my ears, and then Jessica said she was thinking about naming her future child HUNTER! NO JOKE. I will also say they know how to put on a show making sure the crowd was entertained and involved. Live vocals (no lip-syncing) and dance moves to rock the house. Unfortuantly we were not able to take photos with the Pussycat Dolls (legal issues, and they didn't want to be photographed) but to meet them was an experience of a lifetime. Britney came out and I must say that girl with all the flack she gets really knows how to put on a show! She made it totally worth staying up late, and she entertained to her fullest. The show has everything from magic tricks, to dancing to the sexually overt and seducing visuals Britney Spears is known for. If you are able to go see the show I totally recommend it. I know in the past I have gotten shit from friends, and ex boyfriends for liking Britney, but fuck it. I love her and she and the Pussycat Dolls gave me AND Michael and experience we both will NEVER forget! Thank you!
For about a year now I have been trying to avoid guys like the plague. I told myself time and time again that no man was worth my time, and after Zach love was not an option for me, and I should just keep walking the path I was on but just walk it alone. I never really dabbled in the dating pool. I never even had sex really. I met a few guys along the way knowing full well that it was something I didn't want and that it just didn't feel right. I was not only wasting my time, I was wasting theirs. Then about a month back, I met someone. It was funny because when I got his message I thought nothing of it. I felt he was just someone who might be like every other cockhead out there who wanted nothing more than to see me naked, and he would be disappointed when his requests were not granted. I was in for a shock. He sent me a message mentioning nothing about clothing, nude photos, or anything. Just simply sent me his best wishes, and that he took the time to actually read my profile. I was impressed, but still keeping a close eye I watched my back. The more we talked the more I wanted to learn about him. The more I wanted to get to actually know this guy. At first there wasn't really anything there, but after a few weeks of talking it felt right. It felt amazing, needed, and comfortable. I didn't feel ashamed with him. I felt that this was what I needed to pick my lazy ass off the ground. Yes I know I said I didn't need a man, but this man actually wanted me. It felt nice to be wanted, and someone take the time out of their schedule to talk to me and show concern for me. When he came home for Spring Break nothing changed, seeing him in person made everything better. He never pressured me for sex, (which still hasn't happened, a good thing) he never made himself superior to me, he made me feel beautiful. He totally made walls fall, that Zach had forced me to put up. Even after being so honest with him about my past and my severe mistakes, he still held me and kissed my lips. It was what I had been waiting for. Now I find myself so happy. I have a boyfriend. Never thought I would say it again, and not feel embarrassed by doing so. I am not ashamed of him, or of the beautiful heart and soul that he possesses. He is truly what I needed to bring me back down to earth. :)
It seems to me the older I get, the more I find myself looking back at my past and present and comparing the two. While I am not happy about the mistakes I have made in the past, I am happy to be making a plan for myself in the future. Now that I have gotten the seriousness off my chest, let me take a minute to have a rather blunt BITCH session. I have never called myself a saint or anything of that nature, but one thing I know I am not is a liar. While I have done my fair share of lying and hurting people with lying, but I have learned that most of what people say is truth. On the other hand let me say that 80 precent of the gay community are pathological liars. (I don't fall in that 80 precent anymore) Now whether it be about what they do for a living, what they drive, who they are dating, or what their HIV status is, it seems to be a growing trend of the two-faced fag! I bring this topic up because this past weekend, I went out with my guy and we went to a club. I rarely go to this club, I can't stand it, nor the people there and I was pleasantly reminded why I dislike the environment so much. Anyways, We went to have fun, drink a little, and just enjoy our last night together before he went back to Dallas. While there I saw a guy that I had talked to for about two weeks before I had met Adrian. I walked up to him and his friends, and introduced Adrian to Marc, and his friends. Marc introduced me to his "boyfriend" and when I looked up to shake his hand, I knew EXACTLY who his new "boyfriend" was. I simply laughed it off in my mind, but I was quickly finding myself pissed off. About two minutes later I noticed that Adrian and I were quickly being ignored until Marc and Adrian looked at each other and both recognized each other from middle school. What are the fuckin odds. Anyways after this had passed there was no point in standing there trying to make conversation. It was obvious that Adrian and I were about as pointless as a Wes Craven film. I got mad and Adrian coould tell I was livid. The reason why I got so mad was because while Marc and I didn't work out (I still think his reasoning for calling it off was complete bullshit) one of the things he told me was "I think you're a great guy and I still wanna be friends with you even if we can't be more than that" I realized while standing there waiting for a simple "How's life?" that Marc and most every other gay guy I try to be friends with is full of bullshit. A simple "you were a great fuck but I don't wanna date you" would have made my day, and would have saved me the time of having to waste two weeks of my life, and my birthday on him, and would have saved me the effort of having to delete Marc from my phone. I think the question is, why are gay men so fuckin fake? Why do they say one thing and mean another? Don't tell me you wanna be my friend, if your statement was full of hot air, and meant nothing and was your failed attempt at trying to be a good guy. Trust me I have had better promises made from my mother, and if anyone knows how she is, she is about as unreliable as a cheap toy from the 99 cent store. Blow it up your ass cockhead.
In the blink of an eye, or maybe better said in the tone of a phone, life as I see it now has become so much better. Life is picking itself up. New Career, new living situation, and becoming involved. By involved I mean a boyfriend. Not since Zach have I truly been able to feel happy. Adrian is an amazing guy who I have been getting to know for about hmmm well a while. (4weeks) Its been amazing. I am excited to find out what more this guy has instore for me. All I know is a don't think I have ever laughed more, smiled bigger, or been more excited about a guy.
Ha, ha, who, who Thought you’d get the money, too Greedy, mother fuckers Try to have the cake and eat it, too.
Yo, check this out you greedy motha f****** I changed all my credit cards, And switched all the locks to all my doors You thought my heart would be destroyed Look around cuz I’m chillin’ boy Whatcha goin’ get your lawyer for? I makes my dough and just for sure you know Your lawyers should have let you know, you know, When you sue me you gonna be broke, you know, Ain’t no way you gonna bring me down easy Any chick that you stick is real sleazy Before I need you, I bet you gonna need me You ain’t want me, anyway you wanted to be me. What made you think I wanted to keep you around While I work my a** off while you just lounge around, huh? You slump, bum, son of a gun, And uh, How much you worth? I think negative, done
Sharp shooter into breakin’ hearts A baby gigolo, a sex pistol Hollerin’ at everything that walks No substance, just small talk Know why you’re feelin’ on that girl’s behind, You got a sleazy, one track mind Workin’ your work until you find Who’s goin’ home with you tonight.
I betcha think this song is about you,
Don’t you, don’t you, don’t you.
I’m doin’ better without you, and I’m happy without you.
Sweatin’ me but I’m not you’re type, You think you irk me, and you’re so right, I’d rather keep the trash and throw you out, Stupid b**** in my beach house No, I ain’t gonna go and act a fool, And be the lead story, on the n**** news Not me, sucker, I’d never be your lover, I’d rather make you suffer, you stupid motha f*****
Who you gonna give it to? Who you gonna steal it from? Who’s your next victim? Who you gonna lie to? Who you gonna cheat on? Who you gonna leave alone? What you gonna tell her, after she discovers, you don’t really love her? It’s gonna be a show down, knock down, drag down, gun slugger shoot ‘em up
You must have thought you had game, now you, what? Walkin’ ‘round, like you’re down, you don’t give a… But you don’t really wanna be forgot into the streets, I’m a lover, not a fighter, but I crack your teeth Boy I plead please, no, don’t bother me. Cuz when you had me you ain’t know how to chill wit’ me You wanna be in the streets with the freak-nies But now you all up on them knees, still joggin’ me. But I’m gonna say it real, real, keep it real, What the deal? How you feel? Is it real? Is you sick? Cuz I’m the deal, still here, what the feelin’ Is real, don’t front, cuz boy I’m the… I’m doin’ better without you, playa, and I’m happy without you, playa, This song is about you, playa Motha f***** son of a gun, Janet!
Got a chip upon your shoulder, I just knocked it off, Show me what you’re gonna do, I ain’t ‘bout to run, You have just run out of ammunition, Shootin’ blanks now, you son of a gun.
Who you gonna give it to? Who you gonna steal it from? Who’s your next victim? Who you gonna lie to? Who you gonna cheat on? Who you gonna leave alone? What you gonna tell her, after she discovers, you don’t really love her? It’s gonna be a show down, knock down, drag down, gun slugger shoot ‘em up
No, no, no, no, no, it’s not what you say, it’s what you do You’re so vain, You probably think this song is about you, Don’t you, don’t you, don’t you, don’t you.
And I've been waitin' for the stars to fall. I keep holdin' out for what I don't know To be with you, just to be with you.
So here I am staring at the moon tonight, Wondering how you look in this light. Maybe you're somewhere thinkin' about me too. To be with you, there's nothing I wouldn't do.
And I can't imagine two worlds spinnin' apart Come together eventually..
And when we finally meet, I'll know it's right. I'll be at the end of my restless road. But this journey, it was worth the fight. To be with you, just to be...
Holding you for the very first time, never letting go. What I wouldn't give to feel that way... Ooohh...
Oh, to be with you...
Oh, and I can't imagine two worlds spinnin' apart Come together eventually.
And when you're standin' here in front of me, That's when I know that God does exist. 'Cause He will have answered every single prayer. To be with you, just to be with you,
You could never work well with our group, Not with the faults we found. So we've fixed you with cement galoshes, And no one can save you now. Unless you have friends among fish, There’ll still be no air to breathe. You could drink up the entire ocean,We’ll still find someone to be everything we know that you’ll never be. ~Jesse Lacey
DRIVING TO THE SHOW
PROOF...THE GOLDEN TICKETS.
BACKSTAGE PROPS
BRITNEY CHANGES HERE
PCD!!!
SIGNED AND NOT FAKE!
NEW FRIENDS
ITS BRITNEY BITCH!
THE END! MORE ON FACEBOOK.
