Let play a game of not being a jackass!

As most know, I dated a guy named Nathan for about two years. We were engaged for a while, but in the end I kept fucking up and lost him. I thought money and being in the adult film industry was more important than being in love with him. I cheated several times during our relationship, and never respected him 100% I have learned a lot about myself since being with him, and when I try to distance myself and find a common ground with not having him in my life anymore he seems to pop up. I would find this nice if Nathan did not have such hateful and mean things to say about me. I understand you can never forget, but dude at least forgive. I may not be as happy as I wanna be right now, but it is you who truly deserves to be happy. I don't piss on your name, so please don't piss on mine. I am forever apologizing for the horrible nasty things I did to you. I am sorry you hold such negative energy towards me. Most of what you think is true, really isn't. But needless to say you have a right to think what you want. But I would think you know better.