Monday, October 27, 2008
This is "cutting" into my weekend.
Having surgery this weekend on my neck...Hopefully this will remove all of the cancer in my neck. I am praying it works. Wish me luck everyone : )
Friday, October 24, 2008
A little thought for the day...the weekend...the month.
Sometimes I wonder if this is what was meant to be. Sometimes I just needed someone to say it's not my fault I'm not insane
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Evolution of Sadness
Today is Thursday. I am stating the obvious because by now I should be out of the hole I am in. Every time I see him, I cry. Not for what he did, but the way he made me feel. With some many other things going on in my life such as my job, radio station promotions, and a plethora of other things, as well as the world turning and stock markets crashing, why am I not feeling better about myself.
What am I becoming? When I meet someone, I am so scared in getting to actually get to know this person because someone will inevitably get into their mind and say something that makes them not want to be my friend. How can someone do so much damage in such a short amount of time? How is someone so blind to see that yes three months...maybe a "blip" to you, but a lot happened in those three months that makes all the difference. I put my heart out there for you. Now I am nothing to you? A mere way for oxygen to be converted into carbon dioxide? You don't think for yourself, you think how others want you too. Your choices are poor, and you lie to people to get what you need to. I am not a suspect in any part of your life, or what has happened, yet you label me as one, refusing to see the truth. Sgt. and others have told me I am innocent, now where is my apology? When can I be happy again? Zach, I ask you that. When? You, yes you, have done so much damage it is like I am a person who doesn't know who he is anymore.
You have made me question everything in my life. My family, my friends, and my heart, and my love. I don't know how to do it. Why is so easy for you to walk away from someone who really liked you. Loved you. Loves you? I don't even know why I am writing this when no one will read it and it will probably never get to Zach in the first place. I just know who I am becoming is closed off, and scared. Because of you. Please see that. I am innocent. My word is true, unlike yours.
What am I becoming? When I meet someone, I am so scared in getting to actually get to know this person because someone will inevitably get into their mind and say something that makes them not want to be my friend. How can someone do so much damage in such a short amount of time? How is someone so blind to see that yes three months...maybe a "blip" to you, but a lot happened in those three months that makes all the difference. I put my heart out there for you. Now I am nothing to you? A mere way for oxygen to be converted into carbon dioxide? You don't think for yourself, you think how others want you too. Your choices are poor, and you lie to people to get what you need to. I am not a suspect in any part of your life, or what has happened, yet you label me as one, refusing to see the truth. Sgt. and others have told me I am innocent, now where is my apology? When can I be happy again? Zach, I ask you that. When? You, yes you, have done so much damage it is like I am a person who doesn't know who he is anymore.
You have made me question everything in my life. My family, my friends, and my heart, and my love. I don't know how to do it. Why is so easy for you to walk away from someone who really liked you. Loved you. Loves you? I don't even know why I am writing this when no one will read it and it will probably never get to Zach in the first place. I just know who I am becoming is closed off, and scared. Because of you. Please see that. I am innocent. My word is true, unlike yours.
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